Last Hayden Update

Honestly, I haven't had much to say lately so I have just avoided my blog.  I could have posted  a few new recipes I have tried or something funny the kids had done but I just didn't feel like it.  I have had a few rough weeks emotionally and I think I'm finally starting to come around.

I always feel a bit of a let down after the Christmas season but this year with what is going on with Hayden and schooling it has just added to the emotional roller coaster.   Faruq and I have discussed it until there is nothing left to say, we have sought out a professional opinion, visited the new school and honestly even Hayden has warmed to the whole idea of moving but I still feel like the biggest shit for moving him.

As I said to Faruq just last night I feel like I let Hayden down continuously with regards to education and I just really want to get it right for him.  We have explored the option of me homeschooling him and while he is keen for that I'm just not sure I want to take that role on.  I love the job of Mama and helper of homework but I'm just not sure we are ready for constant one-on-one interaction everyday all day.  Then there is the issue of me having two little ones had home already and while Laila is starting to learn some basics Sophie isn't even close to that stage.  I thinking I would be setting everyone up for failure so I have decided it just isn't an option right now.

We have to officially let his current school know on Monday that he will not be returning and I think once that is done I will feel a sense of relief  and closure.   All the paperwork has  been submitted to the new school and he only needs to go in May for "placement" testing to determine with class he will be placed in next year.  We are eager to see the results of these tests as it will give us a good starting base for next year.

While this whole process has been tough I just have to keep remembering we are doing this for Hayden's benefit and that in the long run he will come out ahead.

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Mellott Family said...

Is he starting at Brentwood now, or not until next September? Miko actually got a subbing job there and finishing out the year there I think.

Soshayna said...

I am sorry you are feeling such emotional turmoil...I hope once the plans are firm that you will feel much better and "forgive" yourself even though you did nothing wrong! :)