Emotional Vampires

I watched The Talk the other day and they were discussing "Emotional Vampires" and if you had one in your life that was affecting you negatively.

There are five types of emovamps out there to guard against:

The Narcissist -Life revolves around him or her, at least in their mind. They expect compliments to earn their attention and approval. They can be charming until you don't go along with their plan; then they act cold as punishment. Never marry one, because they don't give you the love you deserve. Lower your expectations of them, and don't tack your self-worth to their opinion of you. The only way to get something from them is to show how doing so will meet their needs.

The Victim --These vampires wear you down with their poor-me attitude. They don't take responsibility for their actions, always feeling that the world is against them. Set limits for the victim vamp with an iron hand, but a velvet glove. Tell your friend that you only have a few minutes to talk about their love life, but say it in a tender, non-blaming tone.

The Controller--Somebody who tries to control you and dictate who you're supposed to be or what you're supposed to feel. They always claim to know what's best for you. They can dominate and suffocate. Pick your battles with them.

The Criticizer--These vamps always put themselves down and others, too. Address the criticism, but explain that it doesn't make you feel good when the person constantly points out your faults.

The Splitter--This emotion-sucker sees people in black and white. They either make you their nemesis or perfect friend. Unconsciously or not, they turn people against each other. Cross one on any front and expect a big fight. To know if you're in a relationship with one, ask yourself: "Do I censor my true feelings because I feel this person's anger? Do I go to great pains to keep the peace? Do I feel like I'm on an emotional roller-coaster with them?" If you're dealing with a splitter, discuss the situation with people he or she's trying to pit you against and resolve to make a united front.

Through the years I have had a few of these people in my life and I have found they haven't lasted very long.  It's funny when I was watching the show I kept thinking "Am I an emotional vampire to my friends".

Some side effects that you have been snipped by one of these vampires are...

  1. You could use a nap.
  2. Binge-eating suddenly seems like a good idea as a pick me up.
  3. Your mood takes a nosedive
  4. You feel sniped at or agitated.   Don't fight back but listen to your intuition when it senses danger and avoid confronting the person.  Don't react immediately but instead make a plan to deal with the situation.   Communicate your needs to them and ensure they know your limits.  Use a neutral tone when you share these limits with your attacker.

Interesting !

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