The Spank Debate

Last week I engaged in a conversation on Twitter with regards to spanking and agreed that I would share my personal thoughts on the subject.  I usually try very hard to keep this blog upbeat and light but this is a subject that is very personal for me.  The views that I will express in this post are mine and I'm really not looking for anyone to debate them with me.  I truly don't believe that you will ever change my position on this but as always I welcome your comments and will respect them.

I was a child of the 70's and things were different back then.  I'm not going to go into a lot of details but I will say that I was spanked.  I had 2 uncles that I was always scared of because of their tempers and the manner in which they dealt with their kids.  But it had a profound effect on me and the way I parent today.

My belief is you can discipline a child without spanking or hitting them.   I have been witness to scenes in public that quite frankly made be very uncomfortable.  If I see a parent visibly out of control in public I can only imagine what could be happening behind closed doors.  I get it we all get frustrated and start to lose control because our child isn't listening to us or not behaving the way we want them to.   But does that mean we should have to right to hit them.   I see adults acting out and misbehaving in public so should we spank them as well probably not  so why should kids be any different.

What I see when kids are spanked is fear and I don't want my children to fear me.   If kids can't trust and feel safe with their parents then I believe we have failed them.  Remember we are helping to mould and shape the leaders of the future.

So the challenge I present to all parents is...If you feel the need to spank your child step back for a moment and realize you are the one out of control.   Collect yourself and then deal with your child.  If that means picking them up and removing them from a situation then just do it.  I can remember a few trips to the mall, library or park that ended because my toddler was not listening or pitching a tantrum.

I'm not going to tell you what method to use to discipline your kids because you know your kids best  but I will plead with you not to hit or spank them.

Stepping off my soap box now !!

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Leslie said...

I didn't find your post soapboxy at all. I liked what you said about what you are willing to do in public might mean worse is going on in private.

Misty said...

I agree with Leslie, not soapboxy, very gentle and honest.

Catherine Dabels said...

Having an opinion is not the same as a soapbox. I agree with you. Good post.