Birth Order - What's it mean ?

I'm a true believer in "birth Order" and that every kids has a defined role within our family.  Faruq and I talk often about each child and the characteristics that they are displaying.  Then I read this article today and it just reconfirmed what I was thinking.

Hayden (our "first born") fits the description exactly.  He is a total "Type A" personality and has always had a hard time accepting anything less then perfection with whatever he does.  This has been noted on his progress reports from school and we are really trying to help him understand that he must try things even if he is unsure of the outcome.  When he was the baby I would spend hours with him and he progressed very quickly with all levels of development.  But now he seems to be crippled with fear when it comes to trying new adventures or learning new things.  He is making progress on accepting failures and when he recently didn't pass his current swimming level I was secretly pleased as it taught him that even though he did his very best he wasn't quite ready to progress.

Laila (our "middle child") again fits her description perfectly.  She is definitely the most easy going kid that I know but is very strong willed and will negotiate with you on things that are important to her.   She makes friends very easy and loves the interactions with other children.  While she is still to young for sleep-overs and making friends independently of me I predict that as the kids get older she will likely have the most friends out of our the three kids.  While Hayden is painfully shy and we have never had issues with behavioral things at school I'm expecting reports to say Laila is sometimes hard to settle and is maybe too social.  Both Faruq and I have made a conscious effort to try to take her out on her own a little more then the other two kids right now.  I'm also looking at starting her in a dance class in the fall so it will be an outing for just her.

Sophie (our "Youngest") This is the only profile in the article that I disagreed with slightly.  They stated that generally they aren't the strongest or smartest in the room.  But Sophie is demonstrating both of those characteristics and I believed it is in fact because she is the youngest.  She wants to so badly keep up with her older siblings that she tries much harder to do what they do.  She watches their every move and emulates them.  She is very adventuress which can be tough to parent.  What worked for discipline with Hayden or Laila just doesn't work with her.  While I recognize the fact that she is the youngest I try not to coddle her too much.  I have noticed lately when she and Laila are playing she will pull out the "crying" card to seek attention from me so I'm trying to navigate through those waters of being the "fair" parent.  Honestly, with her being so young she may change but for now she is fitting most of the profile.

A few closing thoughts.... each of my children are most definitely individuals and should be treated as such.  What works for one doesn't always work for all of them and we as parents have to recognize this fact. I find myself at almost 8 years into this journey of parenting a much more relaxed and confident parent who doesn't second guess my decisions.   I do definitely believe there is something to "birth order"and will always try to do what's best for each of my children.

I would love to hear others parents thoughts on this and if it applies to your family !!

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1 comment:

Hypermama said...

the only one that really kind of 'fits' is for the oldest. The middle fits my Elizabeth pretty well, and the youngest seems to fit Victoria a bit more than the middle fits for her which is where she is.